City Of Gold
by HowManyRoads
Summary: Alec struggles to keep his love for jace a secret.


**OK so here goes my first story umm reviews are very much appreciated. If you notice any grammatical errors especially please tell me!!!! I'm awfully anal about that...**

**Oh before I forget...**

**Disclaimer: definitely not Cassandra Clare, but I do put a lot of faith in the powers of positive thinking so perhaps one day...**

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**City of gold**

_Give sorrow words;  
the grief that does not speak  
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart  
and bids it break._  
_~ William Shakespeare, in Macbeth, Act IV, Scene III_

Alec stumbled along behind his sister through the halls of the institute, putting all his energy into scraping the demon ichor from his arms and face in the hopes of drowning out the voice of the blonde shadowhunter behind him.

"You can't stay mad at me forever" Jace stated matter-of-factly as they stepped into the elevator. Isabelle, sensing the tension placed herself strategically between the two shadowhunters. Alec was glad of the barrier between himself and Jace. He didn't want to see Jace, didn't want to look him in the eyes, for he knew if he did his anger would evaporate, and Jace needed to see this anger, needed to understand...

"I'm sorry for putting you in danger okay" Jace muttered, an edge to his voice. Alec still didn't answer, he was now too angry to speak. _Sorry for putting _me_ in danger? _Me_?_ _Does he really not understand..?_

"I can't believe you're being like this" Jace said, his voice rising and his usually even tone gone.

"It's your own fault really. I had everything covered. You didn't have to step in".

_Didn't have to step in? _he fumed. Alec turned on the golden haired shadowhunter, about to tell him exactly why he _did_ have to "_step in", _and effectively ruin their relationship; there would be no going back from this...

His blue eyes locked with Jace's and he became lost, like so many other times, in that city of gold...

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"_Alec, Isabelle. Come in here please" Maryse called from Hodges office. Isabelle reached for the door handle, barely hiding her excitement and relief at finally being invited in after forty-five minutes of pressing her ear awkwardly against the door, catching only snippets of the conversation between Hodge and their mother; "...was our friend...", "...is our responsibility". Occasionally a third voice would enter, emotionless, into the conversation. Always with one word answers, "yes", "no", "thank you"._

_Isabelle turned the handle, loping gracefully into the room, her eyes glistening with delight as they fell upon the owner of the third voice. Alec followed more tentatively, stretching out his muscles which were cramped from his awkward half crouching stance against the door. He followed his sister's gaze to the only person in the room he did not know. His eyes froze there, riveted to the boys face. _

_The boy, whom Maryse introduced as Jonathan, had golden tresses of hair playing about his face, near obscuring equally golden eyes that carefully looked at no one in particular. It was clear he would grow to be a handsome man. _

_However, this was not what held Alec's gaze, no, what prevented him from looking away was the expression on the boys face. A mixture of sadness, anger, regret and pain tugged mercilessly at his perfect features. Alec had ever seen someone with a look of such... anguish. It permeated his very being._

"_... and this is my son Alec". The boy still didn't look up. There was an awkward silence as Maryse tried to think of something to say that would draw a reaction from this boy. "Ahh, you and Alec must be about the same age Jonathan". This did get a reaction. The golden-haired boy's head snapped up._

_Golden eyes locked instantly with blue._

_Alec gasped, not with shock but with wonder; the plaintive expression the boy had worn just moments ago was now completely gone, washed away by a new one that transformed his whole face. _

_Jonathan's hard eyes had melted to a liquid, glittering gold and the hard set of his jaw had softened._

_A tirade of emotions swam through the boys eyes; a wonder that matched Alec's own, but also hope mingled with a barely restrained... _excitement.

_Alec felt overwhelmed. The look on Jonathan's face made him want to laugh and cry, to throw this boy into an embrace but also to run and hide from the sheer brilliance of him. And in that moment something clicked into place for Alec. There was no one else in the world but himself and Jonathan Christopher Wayland. He felt a fire begin to grow inside him. Every fibre of his being ached to protect this boy, to prevent that..._ dead _expression from ever returning to his eyes._

_There was a word for this, he knew, and it terrified him just to think it. But at the same time, he knew it was true._

_Love..._

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A quiet ping signalled the arrival of the elevator at their destination and the end of Alec's remembrances.

"Alec?" Jace questioned, something close to concern flickering across the shadowhunter's features.

Alec shook his head and stepped from the elevator. No, he wouldn't tell him today. Nor any other day. He would wait. He would wait until Jace saw the answer himself.

And until that day Alec would be there to protect him. To protect the man he loved...

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**Did you guys like the shakespeare quote?  
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**Once again reviews are nice...**


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